Life is full of ups and downs, the good and the bad. In the last few years I have been selective about what I have shared. Why? because I never wanted my blog to be a pity party or a rant fest! Yet, I realised yesterday that I also haven’t shared a lot of awesome moments too.
A lot of my selective sharing has been because there are people out there who will always have an opinion on what I should do or how I should live my life or even try to bring me down because of their own insecurities. I want to be able to share on my blog what I want and not worry about hurting people’s feelings because I have a lot in my life to be happy and greatful for!!
Therefore I want to share what I consider a huge achievement in my life, “being at peace with not being a parent”. This might sound like an odd achievement to you but you know what I am bloody happy to have realised this!! It wasn’t until yesterday that it occurred to me that I really have moved on and accepted that Mike and I will never be parents.
Since 2008-2011 this was something I discussed, cried over, got angry about with close friends. It’s something I didn’t go into a great amount of detail on here because it felt too raw. I did however allude to it back in July 2011 when I shared a layout and talked about our plans for adoption & again in March 2012, when I mentioned how I had grieved in 2011 at not being a parent.
I realised that I;
- no longer have sad days and haven’t since December 2011
- have a lot in my life to be grateful for
- no longer feel a twinge of jealousy or regret when seeing friends with their babies
- am happy being a mum to our Smoochings
- can talk about this and not get upset
- am blessed to have nieces and nephews and friends children whose lives we can be a part of.
On Saturday we meet the new addition to our friends “S & M” family. Miss Ava is two weeks old, is beautiful and a gorgeous bundle of joy. Her parents are adjusting to life as a family of three and sleep deprived days and nights. They are learning what she likes, developing a number of techniques to settle her and facing the wonderful joy and love that parenthood brings.
When I was editing the above photos of Mike and Ava, I realised how far I had come and how wonderful our life together is.